~ Let Allah heal your heart.. ~

Sometimes it is hard to go on with life because it all seems so blurry and so meaningless. It hurts to not enjoy what you loved the most, to always feel so empty inside, to forever be lonely even though you're surrounded by many who love you. Oh, how you wish people actually saw what was inside of you, how you wish they could read your mind and comfort your aching heart, but you feel all alone in this strange state of painful emotions and heartache.

It feels as though there is an actual void in your heart. One you never knew existed. The worst thing about this is that you cannot ever remember the last time you ever had a genuine smile and felt happy. Most often you break down in tears yet you don't know or understand why your tears flow uncontrollably.

This pain you're going through is so unbearable yet you choose to go through it alone because you do not wish to worry those you love. So, you struggle to fake your smile, to fake your laughter and to fake who you used to be. Often you seclude yourself so the need to "fake" anything does not rise. However, you really want this out of your system and would love someone to talk to, someone to lend you a shoulder to really cry on. Someone to give you a comforting hug and tell you its going to be alright.

The reality is though, people look at you but they never see the pain you hide inside. You ask "Am I really good at faking or do people just ignore me? or Is there anyone who could ever see through my eyes and see the scars in my heart?" The answer is YES.

There is someone who sees your every pain, hears your silent cries, and works very hard to heal your heart. Its no other but the one who created you from dust and the one you shall return to. Allah ta'ala is closer to you than anyone, and He can help you through anything. You just have to completely trust His divine help and give your heart to him.

I know its hard to do that part because of feeling empty within, but know that help is only with Allah, so if it hurts too much, be close to Him, talk to him through your prayers, and let His divine words heal you. Also know that you're not alone in this state of depression and loneliness.

Don't be afraid to talk to someone you trust even if it means that person sees your weakness through the tears! Don't ever be scared of putting your feeling out there because concealing your pain only makes it worse. If all fails, keep a journal and write away all that pain. Trust me you're going to lose so many tears and will not be able to finish a page, but by the time you're done, you're going to feel a lot better InsyaAllah. And don't forget to always make doa (prayer) to Allah and ask Him to heal your heart..

Every day I hope and pray
that my love for Allah never goes  away..
In fact,
 I really want that love to grow even more stronger..
Amin, Ya Rabb..

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THE END :)

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~ Guidance to Jannah ~

I have learned that life is to be lived the way it is given, to be appreciated the way it comes, and to be cherished by those whom you have around. Life is truly a blessing and most of the time it is unpredictable.

Sometimes, we meet certain people to steer us a certain way, to teach us some skills, to strengthen our faith, and at times, it is the very point where we meet our destiny, in which we come to the realization that this is my purpose in life.

How do I know my purpose. It is not very difficult, in fact, you just have to listen to the heart. When the heart and the soul are at peace, when your mind and body are one, when happiness and passion intersect, you will just know.

My first realization was contentment with the will of Allah, being appreciative of the task at hand, and the passion and motivation to succeed all by working with high ethical standards.

Then it was the journey for growth, be aligning my path with certain people, all whom taught me a certain skill in which I needed to tread my next path successfully.

Now it is my task to guide and help others by being the instrument of success for those whom are lost. Somehow, Allah is aligning everything in perfect order, and I am truly starting to see Allah's hand in everything. Your purpose starts with Allah, and will end with Allah. Your purpose will be clear, when your creator is your priority.. 

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~ A wisdom blown by the rainy winds..~

Its raining heavily outside and i sit here by the window watching the dancing rain..Subhanallah and Alhamdulillah for Allah gift..sangat mendamaikan hati..tatkala panas di siang hari tadi, sekalian manusia yang merasai bahang kepanasan mengeluh dan mengadu dengan apa yang dirasai itu..tidak kah kita sedar bahawa panas dan hujan kedua-dua nya nikmat dari Allah? Allah memberi panas di siang hari..namun tanpa kita sedari, di sebelah petangnya pula Allah turunkan hujan..bukankah Allah itu Al-Hakiimu..Maha Bijaksana mengaturkan setiap apa yang ada di langit dan di bumi..

Begitu juga dengan kehidupan kita. Mustahil jika ada yang mengatakan hidupnya tidak pernah berhadapan dengan masalah dan musibah..dan mustahil juga jika ada yang mengatakan hidupnya sentiasa bergelumang dengan masalah dan tidak pernah merasai walau satu pun nikmat kesenangan. Allah itu Maha Adil..melalui pengalaman sendiri, saya mengakui, adakalanya saya tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang saya ada. Sekitar 4 ke 5 tahun yang lepas, hidup saya sentiasa menghadapi ujian dan dugaan..ditambah pula dengan ujian dan dugaan bersama keluarga. Sampai satu tahap, saya menjadi seorang yang jahil kerana mempersoalkan kenapa Allah sentiasa memberi kami musibah tersebut. Saya menjadi alpa dan lalai dalam menjalani kehidupan sebagai seorang umat Islam. Saya sombong dan enggan berdoa kepada Allah..sedangkan doa dan amalan itulah yang dituntut oleh Allah dari setiap hambanya. Betapa saya menyesali keangkuhan dan kebodohan saya ketika itu. Seringkali saya menangisi nasib diri dan keluarga, namun ianya sia-sia tanpa doa. 

Ketika saya mendapat tawaran dari universiti, saya ibarat terjaga dari tidur yang panjang. Terdetik di hati saya bahawa itu adalah rezeki dan nikmat yang telah Allah beri kepada saya tanpa saya minta. Saya menangis bersyukur dengan kasih sayang Allah tunjukkan kepada saya. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Sejak dari saat itu, saya menanam azam dan berusaha untuk menjadi muslimah yang lebih baik dari sebelumnya. Saya bermula dengan memakai tudung. Masih segar di ingatan saya, tika itu bulan Hijrah dalam kalendar Islam. Saya mengorak langkah penghijrahan diri dengan bertudung pada bulan yang penuh bersejarah itu. Alhamdulillah, semenjak dari penghijrahan itu, sedikit demi sedikit saya cuba memperbaiki peribadi diri dan mendekatkan diri kepada Allah dan cuba sedaya upaya mematuhi segala perintahNya. 

Namun sebagai manusia, kekurangan diri tetap ada, kadang-kadang manusia mudah alpa dan leka dengan segala keselesaan yang dirasainya. Begitu juga saya. Apabila manusia mula melupakan Penciptanya, maka tanpa sebarang amaran, ujian dan dugaan datang tanpa dijemput. Tentu anda tertanya-tanya kenapa..jawapannya mudah sahaja. Allah rindukan doa dari hambaNya. Allah memberi kita ujian dan dugaan kerana hanya dengan itu, manusia sujud dan ingat padaNya. Oleh itu, walau dibakar dek panas, dan lencun dek hujan, walau ditimbun dengan kekayaan mahupun dilanda oleh ombak berduri, doa dan syukur itu penting sebagai satu bentuk komunikasi antara kita dan Pencipta yang Maha Agung lagi Maha Berkuasa..

Remember, hopeless moments and hardships teach you to rely on Allah with patience and certainty. It is because He didn't answer your prayers that you are you today. No answers are indeed answers and lessons for us. They allow us to grow into new, and better individuals. And the NO answer will certainly come later at a better appointed time when you have grown into a better individual. Keep praying and striving to become a better person, for Allah will surely make you great if you seek his help and guidance..

Ya Allah...
Im not your most
faithful servant...
I commit sins yet I tell
people not to...
Forgive me and
strenghten my Imaan...

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THE END :)

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